Growing up I always wanted to be like other people. I'd try to mold myself to be like them. Sometimes to be the sporty girl, the shy girl, the outgoing girl, the pretty girl, the girly-girl. In the process of trying to be like everyone else but me, I never really had the chance to find out who I am. Admit it, you did it too. And if you didn't, then I'm just going to pretend you did so I don't feel like the out-of-place-weirdo.
I'm on a quest to figure out what is me and what is fluff. Being a girl I know that whatever is 'me' has the audacity to change it's mind depending on my mood, the time of day, the season or whatever other reason I can come up with to be/do something different.
My quest has started, and so far I have found the following:
I love long hot showers
I'm not a fan of bubble baths
The afternoon is my favorite time of day
I don't like a lot of different noises going on at the same time
I love to sing along to the radio even if I don't know the lyrics
I love to dance as ridiculously as I can in the privacy of my own home with the music blaring.
I LOVE music. Opera, classical, country, rock...whatever! It speaks to me.
I like looking nice but dread the process of getting there.
I like going on long walks.
I don't like shopping for furniture.
I'm a procrastinator.
I'm not very good at starting conversations.
I love watching football.
I'm not good at keeping my checkbook balanced.
I like to start projects but not finish them.
I love to lift weights.
Not a fan of aerobic workouts.
There's my starter. While thinking about my quest I realized that if there's one thing I would want to push through my kids heads is to just be themselves instead of trying to be like those around them. Then they won't grow up to be 27 years old and wondering whether or not they really like to scrapbook or if they do it just because everybody else does.
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7 comments:
It's amazing when I hear others express the exact thing I've been feeling! Good for you for finding your self and not conforming to who you think others want you to be. I admire you for being able to do that. Now, can you teach me?
I am the same way. I struggle with myself, because I am trying to hard to "be like" other people or worry too much about what every one else thinks of me. It drives Justin crazy. But the only person we need to worry about being is a Daughter of God, and when I look at myself that way and the potential and the talents he has giving just to me, then I find myself and I know who I am. If we as moms we are able to see ourselves that way, than our children will do the same.
I really like your list of things you do, I would love to be a fly on your wall :)
Believe me, we all have gone through that at one time or another. I think you are a great person, and I love how you are just yourself. You are so smart to try to teach that to your children early one.
good for you! btw, i luurrrrvvvee bubble baths and candles. however, there is usally a snotty nose up against the door trying to get in.
Have you ever stopped to think about the people we are so determined to be. The are probably doing the same thing, trying to figure out who they are...I'm like you, I have no idea who I really am.
Good for you:) Love your list!
I had the same sudden realization last winter. Isn't it crazy how you can be so old and not know who you are? Good luck getting to know yourself! It's kind of a fun process, I think. I am still on the road of discovery and having a blast.
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