Ponderings

I've been pondering on the line 'it takes a village to raise a child.' I'm tired of being the village. I don't mind it occasionally, or even if it was to more of a variety of little villagers. It's always the same villagers. These little villagers call me 'mom.' They are not my children. I didn't give birth to them, I didn't adopt them, and most of the time I use up a lot of energy trying to stay pleasant to them--I usually try to avoid them. I find myself on the days that I can't avoid them, usually teaching/lecturing them. Their parents have given me the go-ahead to treat them as my own. Huh? All righty then, if they insist.
Today I let my kids play with them while I watched and made sure there was no biting, hitting or choking of my child by these other little villagers. They played well together and after a while I brought my kids in for a snack. We left Leise's bike in the front yard because we were going to go back out after a go-gurt and some crackers. When we came out the bike was missing. (I admit this is my fault...I should have put it in the garage even for 10 minutes). Annaleise was in total distress. I suggested to her that we look around and make sure it wasn't left at the park or in the backyard by accident. We searched and found nothing. So Annaleise asked if we could pay a visit to the little villagers and see if they knew where it was. Sure enough they had put it in their garage and shut the door. At this point I started counting in my head and doing my calming breathing exercises so I could get through the next part as calmly and as nicely as possible. After all--the little villagers parents have given me the go-ahead and I don't want to have a repeat of this incident. So I proceeded to tell them that they just can't take things that don't belong to them. I had to explain to them that the bike wasn't theirs - that it belonged to Annaleise. If they wanted to ride it they had to ask for Annaleise's permission. That the bike stays at our house, even if we leave it outside--that doesn't mean 'here you go, have a bike.' I was interrupted several times which did nothing to help my lack of patience...but I would shush them (nicely) and continue.
I'm tired of it. I spend a lot of time teaching my own children and coming up with ways to get through to their little heads. I'm tired of being a 'mom' to these other villagers. I've spent a lot of time thinking about a video I was shown in high school. The one where people who wanted a kid had to go through a parenting class and experience before having a kid. Some of those in the video decided afterward they weren't ready for a child. Some went on to have the kid they wanted. Do you know that video? I've also thought about the people who have kids but don't raise them. The ones that do the basics of feeding and clothing them but not much more. Have they not heard of birth control? If you're going to have a kid, follow through and raise them! Teach them the things they need to know! At least try! I know kids don't always listen and some are headstrong and willfully disobedient...but at least do your part and be a parent! Do not shove your kids onto me and ask me to do the job you willfully signed up for. I don't want it! And I quit! Until the next time they do something that affects me or mine...

That said...I'm sorry for ranting. This blog is the main source of my venting--this is how I get it out of me and continue on my pleasant way. So after writing all that, yes, I feel a little better...although probably more ashamed for being such a whiner. But we all need to vent and this is the most constructive way for me to do it.

Jason...I'd really like to hear your feedback on this. I love the advice you give. I think you have a gift for being fair-minded and very objective. By the way--please hug and kiss on your sweet little girls from their Auntie Melissa. I can't wait to see you all next summer!