Do you remember "Bob"? He was my counselor when I was pregnant with Brianna. I was having issues with my oldest and struggling with feelings of anxiety/anger about having another girl. He helped me with that. I love Bob.
Every once in a while I'll run across my notes from my sessions with him. Sometimes his advice will pop into my head when I'm having one of those parenting moments.
I had such a moment today. One of my children made a mistake. And it was a doozy. It involved a policeman. See? Doozy.
What an odd word.
Anyhow. I've been struggling today with it. I know it's normal to make mistakes. I just wasn't prepared for this. So I remembered the words of Bob. He said something to this point: Be happy when they make mistakes when they're little. It's easier to correct the small mistakes when they're young than to have to correct the bigger and much more serious mistakes when they're older. Teach them when they're young about choice and consequence and they'll remember those lessons as they grow.
It was something along those lines.
So now our job is to find the consequence to fit the crime. To help the child see the results of their actions. I'm sure we'll find a way and things will get better.
But I can't help feeling a lot of guilt over this.
Since the incident I've been thinking a lot about our home life. I'm painfully aware of where I'm falling short. I'm feeling a lot of emotions. Feeling a need to step it up. To be better. To try harder. To enlist the Lord's help. Because, honestly, I really don't know what I'm doing.
Alas, tomorrow is a new day.
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5 comments:
"I don't really know what I'm doing" <- sounds like a normal Mom to me. :D I'll let you in on a secret..I don't either. I'm grateful for each new day and I'm EXTREMELY grateful that they have short memories so hopefully they'll forget those times I messed up. I think the important thing is that we keep trying. I really enjoy reading "Love & Logic" for parenting advice too (sounds similar to Bob). Let me know if you're interested. My book is on loan now but you can borrow it after if you want?
Honestly I wonder does any parent really know what their doing??! All we can do is try our best- over and over and over. Like Shannon said- it's a blessing these kids have short memories. There is not a day that goes by that I don't regret numerous ways I handles situations or the example I set when I lost my temper... The Lord will continue to bless you Melissa- because you are a great mom!! You are doing the best you can and asking for the Lord's help, and acting on the promptings you're given- what more can you do right? I jsut wish I could get a quick glimpse into the future to know if I'm doing it right! Just a two minute glimpse into each of my daughters lives at around 25 and see how they're doing!
I know I feel often like I wish there were some way I could help my kids make less serious or crazy mistakes.
Or I wish I could teach them to not make the SAME mistakes over and over and over again.
This weekend was quite frustrating with respects to some of the stuff going on in parenting our kids. I'm always grateful that somehow we just keep on keeping on when things get a little crazier than I'd hoped.
Being a parent that cares and really works hard for their kids is never an easy thing. I really don't know what I'm doing, or how to make my kids turn out "normal" if there is such a thing.
You're a good mom.
Dido to everything they all said. You are such a good mom!!!! I once heard that as parents we aren't suppose to know what we are doing so we would fall to our knees and ask the Lord for help. If we were perfect parents and knew all the answers we wouldn't turn to our Heavenly Father and seek his guidance. It's the only way we can truly succeed as parents and let go of the guilt we all feel as mothers. Keep your head up!!!!
I love your honestly. You are doing good. Keep Calm and Carry on. I know that is getting to be a cliche saying, but I say it to myself all day long. You are a great mom, and those little ones were meant to come to you :)
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